I started off this week telling Robert that once Sunday (when we leave for New Orleans) gets here…I’ll see you in August in Marietta. The closer Sunday has gotten the more I realize how hard this is going to be. For the first time since the summer of 2004 I don’t have Robert by my side walking every step of the summer with me. Wiping my tears when I get mad at the enemy, there to pray for me, there for me to look to and ask “What’s Jesus telling you?” If I let myself think too much about it, I get anxious. Can I do this on my own? Can I lead without knowing I have my number one fan right there behind me interceding on my behalf? Granted, he will still be praying for me. And I know I’m being a little dramatic…but it is our first summer as a married couple and we’ll be apart for most of it. When Robert is asked why he’s not going, his response is, “My wife quit her job, so I have to work.” Which partly is true, but Robert knew back in February that the Lord wasn’t calling him to go with us this summer. It took me a little bit longer to submit and listen to what I didn’t want to hear from the Lord. Dang it, I hate it when he is right.
So here we go…I know I’ll be fine…I’m just a little sad. But Jesus has been speaking to me all week about how He wants my sole attention. I’m coming in expectation of Him. I desire this week to be life changing for these kids and I will lay down my selfish desires of wanting my husband with me. Jesus is my Heavenly Bridegroom and I will fix my eyes on Him.
This week has been a little different than a normal week before a mission trip. He’s been showing me once again the importance of being still, so in that I’ve been trying to be diligent…I’ve been reading Elisabeth Elliot’s “A Chance to Die-The Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael.” And as usual I’m stuck on one paragraph. One paragraph that I’ve been dissecting and asking the Lord to pierce my heart with. I’d like to share it with you.
“To be like Christ. To displace self from the inner throne, and to enthrone Him; to make not the slightest compromise with the smallest sin. We aim at nothing less than to walk with God all day long, to abide every hour in Christ and He and His words in us, to love God with all the heart and our neighbor as ourselves…It is possible to cast every care on Him daily, and to be at peace amidst pressure, to see the will of God in everything, to put away all bitterness and clamor and evil speaking, daily and hourly. It is possible by unreserved resort to divine power under divine conditions to become strongest through and through at our weakest point.”
So here we go…desiring to be like Christ. Please pray for us while we are gone. We will return home late Saturday, June 7th. I’ve given Robert full reign of the blog while I’m gone and I won’t even be able to check what he writes (which worries me) but should be entertaining for you! I have been worried about what he will be eating this week (I mean I’m gone…but that also means he’s home by himself for a week). I’ve spent way too much money on processed foods for him and even reorganized our pantry so he could find things (my friend Ashley would be so proud!). He also will be updating our New Orleans blog with prayer requests as I get them to him…so please keep up to date with that too! http://rhumcyouthinneworleans.blogspot.com
Have a blessed week seeking to displace the self from the inner throne to enthrone Him!